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Detached

2011-07-14T22:20:00.002+08:00

You know somethings amiss when you know you are in a place and your heart is at another and your mind is just wondering in blank space. I can't seem to find something. Something that I've either lost or maybe never quite grasped/comprehended. A meaning, a reason to/for what I do. Probably the purpose, some would call. Either way something is a miss. Everything seems lifeless and pointless. Why am I here? What am I doing? Yes freedom is a choice, but you have to unlock that door yourself. But I can't seem to do so without knowing what's the key.

I've thought about it. Pondered days over it. Everything seems to be running away. Everything seems to be sliding an inch further day by day. Maybe I'm finally losing it. There is only so much you can drink out of a bottle. Once it's empty, there is not going to be anything till you fill it up. That stale phase is draining. Probably one day, I'll come to know but nevertheless, dealing with the current ain't that easy.

tale

2011-07-13T00:06:00.005+08:00

sometimes, its simple & clear.

remains

2011-07-09T22:30:00.000+08:00

At the end of your journey, whats left behind is simply nothing. You take nothing up with you, everything remains in the dirt. And when all else is done of you, only one thing remains, - what will you do then?

Worthless

2011-07-05T20:30:00.000+08:00

Empty, thats the soul. Broken yet delusional. Wanting to find at it's desperate moment, something to fill any lingering area. One can't give if there is nothing to give. Giving your heart and mind to everything that you do and living empty, burdens everything down. At the end of the day: don't gain the world, and lose your soul.

Search

2011-07-04T23:50:00.001+08:00

Its dry, really dry. Sometimes you can't even place any words in the picture to speak whats on the mind. I'm losing a reason, and I'm losing the drive. I can't see whats ahead because I'm in a place where my heart is drifting away from. Maybe things have changed, maybe I can't see it the same as y'all. But I guess thats the difference, I go as my heart leads and not as the world competes.

a new turn

2010-05-09T23:41:00.000+08:00

Moved to live journal

Don't gain the world and Lose your soul

2010-04-22T23:10:00.000+08:00

When that line hit me, it hit me real bad. To a level that even as I write this a week later, my heart breaks as I understand it further. In life you often push yourself to the limit and ace for the best, but in the end, you ask, "why do you do it?", can you truly answer? or do you have a prefixed line that you babble out? It's taking a little off my soul and emerges hard to breathe at times.

Imagine bringing the rice to the table and asked to bring more.

Potent

2010-04-02T23:40:00.000+08:00

It strange how at the most lightest moments you heart tremble upon the heavy. You search for the savng grace that would take you aside but even then it becomes an irony. Why so?

Whats your take?

2010-03-08T23:23:00.002+08:00

[This is a common saying: "I've been waiting for this for a long time and this marks my dream!" No one really understands the true irony of this. You work so hard to create a magical genre which you call a movie and put much effort sweat into it. But when the real atonement comes to place, you call your dream call when you clinch the an award? Many often claim at the moment of receiving the award that "My Dream had come true!" but the very fact that made it true was the your hard work that made the movie and not the very award you hold in your hands.] - A little thing that went down my mind during the Oscars. Great Job to Hurt Locker clinching much awards and nominations.

Malacca

2010-03-07T22:02:00.001+08:00

Melaka trip was pretty awesome. Had fun and learn a couple of stuff. Great learning journey.

What Remains?

2010-03-03T21:06:00.000+08:00

We work our butts off, for a matter of fact we work it off pretty much for the whole of eternity. We fake the world that we don't think back and think, giving it a reason that we don't have the time to do so. Honestly we do have the time to look back and realise, but we are just simply denying that fact of what reality brings us or just shoots us. You can try to be the best at anything, but if you can be happy for what you hold, then what is the dream?

2010-02-22T21:17:00.003+08:00

"When you grow up, and you have a kid of your own, you'll know the toughness of parenthood"
- Mother

Parched

2010-02-21T21:45:00.001+08:00

When a child goes to a shop and shoplifts something, to him, its a victory won. But deep within, he feels a throbbing pain, which he only realises at puberty, or sometimes even later. At this point, when he tries to do the same, his heart trembles and pounds harder as he takes every step and movement. He could succeed, and embrace the victory for that moment. But 15mins later, that throbbing pain visits him again. He looks up and asks for forgiveness, and as promised, it's granted. But the following day it happens just as again. What difference does that forgiveness make, when every other hour, his heart or mind beats the same desire. He knows he is going to fall in the trap. He even gets hurt by it, but yet he fails to step out of it. He lives a life, a life that sees nothing then a mere desert.

20th Bird Day BBQ

2010-02-20T23:58:00.000+08:00

Got a few close friends together and had a birthday bbq. Wasn't something big or huge, just wanted something fun and relaxing. Good food and good company and weird and hilarious topics. So much guitar hero and rock band. I seriously suck at the drums and even the guitar itself. but on a closer note, I missed my family that night. My mum and sis. I don't know if it is because I'm growing older or what but nothing beats the fact that you spend a special day with your loved ones. And if you know me well, that is what I always wish for. Anyhow, I had a blast! Thanks to everyone who came! Thanks to Sanjay, Zakee & Val for cooking and thanks Wan Fong for co-planning it with me :D

Here are some pics:

vox

2010-02-19T23:59:00.004+08:00

I seriously could not have been more annoyed and away with my temper then today. It was over the top to an extend that I could feel myself boiling. I think whatever that I see on the plate or the canvas is extremely messy and out of focus. Every stroke is sloppy and inappropriate. Sloppy strokes often speak about attitude and effort place upon a designated area. There is simply no use to great concepts on the layout of the painting when the artist statement is purely grotesque. There is only so much guidelines can do, there rest is simply in the efforts of an artist.

supper @ alazaar was nice & happy birthday Mario!

Meanwhile, here is something that kept making me laugh!

BreezeMO!

2010-02-18T23:57:00.004+08:00

I just had to post this! Its Hilarious!

Had an impromptu with Sanjay at Macs. We had a good chat and started talking about various things. From projects to Harry Potter to IBP and to don't know what also. We then headed back to school. I wanted to find the missing mic from the sound system that we borrowed. Seriously, I hate the walk from FMS to Atrium. It is simply far, period. Had to go to the atrium to find keann at heatwave for the keys. Later manage to order to BBQ food for Saturday with Sanjay's help! He indeed likes spicy stuff! Zul came in and started tickling everyone. Nice. Headed back to KAP to get cake, then back to school for meeting. Only a few were there. After meeting we headed to Mr Prata, and of course we had to wait a long while for Zulhimy. I had the delicious vegetarian set! Hareni said, "Uncle, I want normal prata!" HAHAHA!

Feels as though you want to lose hope and be just another that you see very before your eyes. Strength can only come forth when it is supported by it's subordinate, effort. Then again, it takes one to believe and hold faith.

Here are some photos from yesterday's JB Trip:

JayBee

2010-02-17T23:49:00.003+08:00

Can Life be a reflected memory?

Indeed today was fun yet hideously tiring. Had a great time with Sarah, Randi, Inez, Rachel, Nigel and Ben. Rachel was dressed to impress and Nigel was indeed cool in blue. We seriously looked like a excursion troop heading towards Johor Bahru. Nigel was afraid of the check points as he thinks someone will put drugs in this bag before her gets checked. And apparently Rachel turns on the guards at the check points as they were intrigued by her and wanted to know her personal details. Ranisashark was being cranky in the morning yet ever so funny. hahaa

Lunch at Kenny Roger's was nice. Mac & Cheese was yum! But somehow I couldn't spot the chicken on the plate. It was entirely minced. There was a damn annoying Lion Dance which kept interrupting us rudely while we were talking. Lunch topic was indeed riveting. When you have Rachel at the table, you'll hear nothing more then just gossips. But it was like fun hearings where we laughed about our wrong doings and how we have changed.

Shopping was slightly not that exciting. Probably because everything that I wanted to get over there was followed by a voice in my head going "Alamak, I can get that in Singapore!" Raject shop was a highlight but I never quite understood why would someone buy something that is rejected. But on the contrary, one man's trash is another man's treasure. Rachel was the first ti spark the impulse buying with hot shots. I got my eyes pierced on shoes and caps and Sarah wanted toys. Randi is pretty much all about shoes, shoes and more shoes. I ended up buying shades, a Paul Smith pair of shoes and some hand thingy. Randi bought 3 pairs of shoes. Nigel bought 1. Can't remember what the others bought. Then we had cuppa time at JCO.

We then headed to the cinema to watch "Wolfman' which is seriously, and I mean it with my heart a total spoof. The sound was trying too hard to scare people. It had great actors but a sloppy plot. Location scouting and Cinematography was the only highlight. Halfway through the movie, the movie stopped flashing and the lights came on with pitbul music playing. I first technical difficulty experience in a theatre.

Finally did some final shopping and heading back to Singapore. On the way back the guards flirted with Rachel again. She is indeed a guard-magnet! hahaha! Dinner a Mos Burger and then headed home. Will upload some photos tomorrow probably.

hearing this song after a long time did make my day.

Great song, Greater Mission!

2010-02-16T23:50:00.000+08:00

Lazy kicks in

2010-02-16T21:49:00.006+08:00

My internet connection has been a pain in the bottoms recently, but it had a valid reason as the terms were coming to an end. So, my sister helped me apply for a new mobile broadband from singtel. Goodbye singtel's Huawei and Hello Singtel's Bandluxe. It seems to be easier to use and fast too. Lets hope it stays a pal throughout this year.

Spent the day with my mum and sis. Seriously, these days the whole world is up side down. Parents are being kids and kids end up being 'Parents'. You know how when you are young, your parents bring you out and suddenly you went missing they'll ending pulling the whole mall down looking for you. My mum kept disappearing without letting us know and I, of all humans, ended up giving her the sound of my music. She reasons that she has a handphone, hence there is no need for alerting. Technology does not just influence the young, the old as well. Speaking of technology, my mum washed my iPod nano in the washing machine. Nice. But as usual, with much laughs and more laughs, they always make my day great.

Am meeting the a few peeps from my class tomorrow as we are heading for JB for some fun time. Sanjay can't make it. Dang. Actually I can't believe this JB thing worked. We are actually going for it. It is always a norm that someone everyone will pull out by that time. But still early to say. Hope we have a relaxing time tomorrow and we won't get jammed by those rushing back to Singapore tomorrow night. God bless the traffic ways. On the lighter note, my appendix feels much better today. A miracle indeed.

2010-02-15T19:30:00.001+08:00

"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter."
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Snooze

2010-02-14T22:18:00.000+08:00

Happy Valentine's Day & Gong Xi Fa Cai

Crash.Boom.Bang

2010-02-13T21:15:00.000+08:00

My appendix really thinks that my abdomen is a clubbing zone. It has been killing me. Went to meet Hyona's filming group for final shoot. Poor guys, they had to waste a good shiny day as the batteries were overheated and didn't work. Sadly, they had to postpone it.

Had lunch with Carissa and Isk. It really did spook me a little to know the common areas that Carissa and I share in our lives. We ended up talking about what we wanted to be when we grew up. Carissa wanted to be a pilot and isk, shoots didn't quite catch that in my memory but the both of them laughed at me when I said when I was young I wanted to be a security guard. It was cool to me at that age haha

Met Mum and sis. Mum tried to cheer me up by bringing me shopping. Seriously, although that was sweet, shopping does not erase appendix. But i did get somethings that I liked. All in all, a good day.

Sarah adores photobooths haha

Love Pain

2010-02-12T22:30:00.001+08:00

Had a early day at the scariest and yet most calmest place. Then back to school for day 2 of Post It Serenade. Setting it up was indeed a joy puller. Pushing that aside, everything went well again. The lecturers performed today and the surprise Mr Sharpe's singing. Never heard anything like that. One of a kind indeed.

Throughout the whole day I had a strange pain at my abdominal area. Being me, I assumed it will get better by the day. Well my assumptions can go down the drain. With time, the pain just increased and it was excruciating. Hence I decided to visit the doctors. On the way, I left my earphones in the cab. Good Job. After much await, the doctor claims I have 75% suspected appendicitis. How nice. If you're wondering where does the other 25% go to, it goes to stones in my bladder. What a nice way to wrap the visit. One week of monitoring and we'll see how it goes. Hopefully it goes down. hehe

On the lighter note, I headed back to school to meet the troop and we headed for rehearsals. Fever at 39 degrees and yet I'm craving for food haha

Pop the Champagne, Schools Over!

2010-02-11T22:45:00.002+08:00

Comgra Final Project presentation is indeed a shocker. We all owe it to the Advert Guru Randi Tan, who indeed comes out with the cheesiest ideas which steals the crowd's attention. Whatsoever, that pretty much wraps up my first year. An interesting year, but somehow I'm looking forward to a new year. Lets just see what it brings.

Stage 52's Post It Serenade Today. Indeed it is not a joke to run an event even under the shelter of school. Somehow even on a empty day in school, the board did end up full by the end of the day. Had a great to to rest and relax. Good music, nice company, what else do you want mate?

saw a pretty girl and she left a lipstick stain on my shirt haha

Yea, I'm 20.

2010-02-10T23:30:00.000+08:00

Yeah hi, I'm back. Will try to give this another shot. Although I sure do know that I won't last. Not very excited about turning 20. To many its a huge deal, but apparently it doesn't speak much difference then added turbulence. Look at me, indeed I sound like a emo kid. Yes, no more kid.

Spent the day in school finishing up my final project. Might sound droopy, but it was fun. Shaun, Candice & Shona surprised me with a cake and balloons. I literally screamed almost teared (haha I'm a really dumb ass when it comes to being surprised). Anyhow, they were really sweet and damn special. To add on, my classmates gave me a cool pillow and card/board. Seriously damn sweet.

Hyona made my day with her sms. thanks bud! Please get well soon :)

I LOVE MOOO!

2009-10-22T22:48:00.002+08:00

Intro to Film has made us Spastic!

Hello world! How are you? Sad? awwww! Happy? YAY! but guess what?!?! I'm recovering from my dang flu, so that mean pure happiness! I'm currently finding it a challenge to wake up early for my 9am classes at Film & Media Studies (FMS) building. I tend to wake up at 7.10am and snooze it all the way till 8.05am and then rush through my morning chores and dash out of my house. Rushing concludes to not being able to take the direct bus but instead to take a bus to Lakeside Mrt, Train to Clementi and then bus to School. Not forgetting working up the freakishly high hill to reach FMS building and being so not fated to be any early, my classes at 9am are located on the 9th flour! OMG, the leave literally stops at every floor. But somehow, with all the goreng pisang mess, I still manage to reach at 9.14am, 1min before I'm counted as absent. Tragic morning stories, nothing uncommon though.

Studio production this morning was pretty awesome. It was interesting how, even thought the director does the easiest job, which is the talking, it holds so much importance. I had fun being a guest and a talk show host. Dang its so not easy doing a show without a script at hand man. hahaha! Bombshell = Nigel being the big Bomb and I coming out of my nutshell and my favourite music band is Veggie Tales! HAHAHAHA! Intro to Film has been the Bomb recently. I just love the lesson, and knowing how and from what aspects movies are born from. We were discussing about Eyes wide Shut and Psycho today. Psycho is an awesome movie. The latest version is just more modern, but i'll recommend the older version which is the 1960s one. Awesome Shizz. Dance practice was just a drag indeed today. But at least we went for a while.

Please Tune in to

R&B MASALA

Fridays 4-6PM

With Me and my Co-host Shona!

@ WWW.RADIOHEATWAVE.COM.

2nd Day, Green Day.

2009-10-20T23:18:00.005+08:00

A scene from the movie we watched for Intro to Film Lecture. I thought there were going to kiss man! HAHAHAHA! (btw they are Uncle and Niece)

I went to school in an awesome green shirt. Siti immediately knew where that shirt was from when she saw me. Yes it has a loong memory! It is always the first 2 weeks that i bother to wear something proper and when it hits week 3, I just become a fashion disaster! HAHA!

Lecture day today was awesome. Never thought I would say it but yeah! Studio production was really funny. We had a korean lecturer and he simply adores the song "Nobody" by wondergirls. The fast that he knows the lyrics is entirely a whole other story. Oh his england damn powderful too! haha. Photography lectures are only half an hour which is awesome. First project is film camera and i can't wait to shoot it. Hyona's teaching me how to use it! Awesome Shizz. Into to film is reaaaally long but interesting. We watched a very old movie which was suspense if I am not mistaken. Can't wait to watch the others.

We learnt Jive in Dancesport today. OMG the day Rachel and I were waiting for. Damn fun yet damn tiring especially for me since I had aches from yesterday's gyming. We're going for private class this weekend. Awesome huh. okay bye.

Kick start to an awesome semester!

2009-10-19T23:55:00.002+08:00

I seriously amuse myself in the fact that only blog up a post when I'm in school. Seems like life is not worth blogging when in holiday? Is that a bad call? Anyhow, woke up early to head to gym which was interesting that I actually went where by normally it would be long hours of dragging. Had Contemporary Issues Tutorial today. Somehow, some part of me still wishes to think that it can be something worth learning, but nothing beats the feeling of waking early on monday to go to school for volleyball and CATs. New environment, hope it goes well.

Went to meet the wacky crew for makan. Apparently I looked like a interesting kid in school with my attire according to Jessica. What a comment! HAHA. Heatwave was wacky and crazy today, but guess it went well. Headed to Macs. I managed to clean my MacbookPro. So many scratches! I'm utterly dispirited! But at least it got a little clean. Strangely I got carried away and started cleaning for more. We went to some place next to Coronation Plaza and ate ice-cream and played Taboo! OMG I seriously (serious black) never know it could be so much fun! HAHAHA. OMG FUN TTM! Planning to go gym tomorrow morning again too. Will I?

"When you turn 21, you want to...??"
"Sharon has a...??"
"What is Green/Gold and has many seeds..??"
"Hyona is a...??" (omg Jeannette's answer damn funny! HAHA)
Hyona: "What did Dionel called me just now...??"

2009-10-13T21:57:00.000+08:00

picturesque

2009-09-26T16:23:00.001+08:00

Dont you get it? ~~Don't~~ you?

reality

2009-09-17T23:17:00.000+08:00

nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but you can start today and create new ending.

farewell

2009-09-16T22:49:00.004+08:00

Have you ever wondered what makes the wind blow?
Could it be our loved ones blowing us a kiss?

Have you ever wondered what makes the stars shine?
Is it our loved ones keeping watch over us while we sleep?

Have you ever wondered what makes the skies cry?
Could it be our loved ones missing us?

Have you ever wondered what makes the sun shine?
Is it our loved ones giving us a warm hug?

Have you ever wondered what makes the ocean waves come pounding to shore?
Could it be our loved ones wanting to touch us once more?

There are so many of nature’s wonders and do we really know why? Is there a higher power making sure we always remember the loved one we’ve lost and shall never forget. I do know you are in a better place and perhaps I never said this much, I will always love you and will never forget you.

When the pen speaks its heart to the paper

2009-09-15T18:55:00.007+08:00

Case 1: My dad used to tell me not to judge someone by his answers, but rather by his questions. As a man who has accumulated more experiences than I have, I am not in the position to evaluate my father's two cents’ worth. But as a person who has lived 3 different lives in 3 different schools, I have to agree with him - as cliché as it is, I have learnt that the old man is always right. Eventually that becomes a say of superficial. We are in the era of further comprehension where everything lies upon the table to question, hence even the youngest child could be holding a pot of Gold - Look carefully, wisely.

Case 2: I do not seem to comprehend why I assume that it is still going to be possible. Yes, being optimistic is the prime factor to the accomplishments of many, but doesn't every optimistic point have a substantial support and value. I barely even notice a pinch in the commitment. Possibly it is my area of default, as I had foreseen this and should have varied my steps in the making. Fundamentally, even if the base is strong, it is very pessimistically obvious that the value or purpose - I should say, is long gone. Why push passion, when the drill to do so has faded?

Case 3: I always claim, this just ain't my game. Fundamentally, I know, we all know we say that just to bypass a subsequent day, having in the back of our heads that even when the sun sets for you, it will rise back again sometime soon. Maybe it was just to rush of me to deduce of the norm that you portrayed, though it was indeed substantially inadequate. Yet probably that is possibly the reason for amusement. But whom am I kidding? I'll let you play this game till you wake and up find the bull’s eye. Meanwhile, this atmosphere is acceptable - at least i guess it is.

Case 4: Gosh, you are worst than a Girl! enough.

Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah!

2009-09-11T23:43:00.002+08:00

From dare to believe

WOOOOOOTS! I got a new Ipod Nano! Woooooots! So happy yo! Its an 8GB purple hottie! Anyway, just came back from work at the IT Fair Comex @ Suntec. I have to say never have I been so tired yet so happy. Working at the under mac is indeed fun. You meet new people and the head around are friendly and nice. Todays lunch was nice. Somehow or rather since the redemption venue was changed, we didn't meet much people though, which concludes as less fussy people. Have 2 more days to go. Sometimes although it gets fun i just stone and get very tired and bored. Hope tomorrow is better.

I often think it just ain't my game, but what is our game anyway?

2009-09-10T02:28:00.000+08:00

From dare to believe

It 2.28am and i still can't sleep. I'm tossing and turning and yet no difference. Mum says i'm excited about something thats why, but what on earth am i excited about? The only thing is happening tomorrow is work. What is so exciting about waking up so early? Anyway, I miss those times with the ppl above.

The field has dreams, are you ready to play?

2009-09-05T22:50:00.001+08:00

"Five time Champions Brazil, inspired by Real Madrid superstar Kaka, qualified to the 2010 FIFA World Cup South Africa on Saturday, thanks to a 3-1 win over bitter rivals, Argentina!"

Kaka! He is indeed the man of the match! Everyone claims that Real Madrid "buy buy buy" all the time. I don't disagree though, however, you can't blame the fact that they do pull of a good feast on the football field. But sometimes i do have some disappointments such and team work. Indeed the team has awesome players and they all have great skills. But victory can only be attained if these great skills are used as a pact and not just for individual shining. Anyhow I still think that Real Madrid is an awesome team!

Lo reblandecimos en el campo para el amor del juego!

It'll be awesome

2009-09-04T23:59:00.000+08:00

I went for to school early to meet my dear Shona to continue planning the heatwave gathering which never comes to a proper conclusion. MAAAAN. Who ever thought planning could be such tedious work, but of course all is good. Went for Red Camp 'interview' in the midst of the planning. It was interestingly fun yet strange. It funny when you have to be politically right when you know that it is not a matter or better or might but just a matter of building bonds and friendship. As for me, no politically right answers but just spoke things from my heart. We'll see what happens on the 11th of Sept. Went back to meet Shona, Widya and Ed. We had some Crazy moments man! hahaha but it was fun!

Headed to town at the later part of the day with Ed to meet Nitha and Gloria! The craziest and funny people i have ever met. I laughed immediately when I saw them. I can't comprehend why, but I just did. We headed to orange julius to grab a big bite and then headed to clark quay for dinner. We did so much walking that is started to take effect on Gloria! haha! The random talks were really funny. We had dinner at Timbr and headed to Le Noir for drink at the bar. All in all I had a fantastic and awesome day. I love you guys! :D

Sugar how you get to fly

2009-09-03T23:48:00.001+08:00

My first picnic planning was indeed a collapse. Little Bryan couldn't as he caught a cold. We ended up crashing it at pizza hut for lunch and then headed to town. Thank God we didn't watch Final Destination in 3D some more. Not that gore isn't my cup of tea - actually it really isn't - but the very fact that my past 2 weeks was filled with horror, gore and thriller movies say very much about the capacity of melancholy that I am able to consume. Later did I realise that the "Time Traveler's Wife" was out - wails happily like a small girl. I have to say I was indeed blown away by the novel and it's eccentric plot. As usual, the screenplay has to pull it down by the opinion and expression of the director. Ed, Carissa, Marcus & Jessica were confirm falling asleep, but I still found significance in that movie that held me on. I still never regret it! :D

indeed

2009-09-02T23:57:00.001+08:00

You spell the word love.

Reminisce

2009-08-31T23:43:00.005+08:00

Had a crazy short time skyping with Bryan when I called Ed. Bryan is someone facetious and indeed rib-tickling. Not that I know his that well or of any sort. He somehow manages to enliven me.

Peculiarly, he made me recall some nostalgic moments of my childhood. The arena was so indeed merrymaking. You often agonise less or actually certainly not agonise about the about the constitutional or legislative issues, finance or investment status, education and profession. All that captures your sponge-like mind is everything that holds a peppy context.

You greet that morning with a yawn that cares less about the surrounding, although it can be infuriating. Sometimes you lay that extra moment on bed, waiting for someone to carry you out of bed to attend to your morning necessities. School was never on your torment list, as you're the first to get ready for it then the very person taking you to that venue. When ever you are out, you run around like a flying fighter plane. Even if it may be crowded, you bypass the mass, assuming that you're a prince on a red carpet. The candy shop is your empire as everything there is worthy of your taste buds. Fairy tale soundtracks were your jam and your lullaby. You romped your afternoon away as though the pen was mightier in governmental issues.

Indeed your childhood were the days you would rarely fail to recall - if they were of good remembrance - in your near days. Eventually we all do spring up to the valued humans we uphold to be. We tend to assume that tyke in us just vanished when actually he is not where far but submerged by the hectic lifestyle we are drowned in. Sometimes I wonder, if children are some sort a medium to evoke us to take time off from the hard-pressed world and live a lightheartedly.

Live your life like a soccer match!

2009-08-30T20:55:00.000+08:00

Sent Fifi off to the Airport on Saturday morning at about 6 am plus! WOE! So sleepy and a couple of us fell sick in the process of surprising her! But I guess it was all worth it. She is going off to WUHAN for 6 Weeks! Amiril called it NS haha. Anyway here are some pics from Ed's cam.

FMS NITE!

2009-08-29T22:55:00.000+08:00

Well lets just say that sometimes things just don't go as planned. But considering the fact that the seniors has exams and had such short period of time, i still think they did a good job at planning the FMS Nite. Anyhow, I actually have fun. I think the whole fun part was the bonding part and hanging out playing all kinds of stuff. I enjoyed playing soccer!! volleyball with qinxin and captains ball with the FMS peeps. It is interesting how people can get bonded by a game of such exhaustion! hahaha. Good food, good company, Great Day!

Island Creamery

2009-08-28T23:59:00.000+08:00

Woke up so early to meet Val at Island Creamery! It is a horror to wake up early when you have been sleeping 12 hours continuously. Call me pig for what so ever reason but that rest is indeed needed. Mel, Ed and rachel were there also. Rachel open up her Manicure store there itself. It was funny imagining her hvaing her own shop in the near future. Who knows? haha. Ed and me were trying to work out the script for FMS Nite, but we aren't getting anywhere near completion. Dang.

you crack me like nothing

2009-08-27T23:55:00.001+08:00

Was suppose to gym today, but I had a late night, hence I called it off in the morning. Met Shona in the later part of the day in school. We cracked out brains to plan the Radio Heatwave gathering. I think we did eventually get to some conclusion but some how it didn't have much concrete in it.

We to Paya Labar at Night for the Hari Raya Night Market. Wait! I have to say this. WOE! Carrissa and I were fined $20 bucks each for paying not insufficient bus fare! WOE! The bus driver actually told me it was enough, then later he said he didn't quite hear me! WOE! Ed did help me pay first. But even then WOE! - EMO HOBO - Yes met the Ching gang at Paya Labar and had awesome ramlee burgers! I want more now! Walked around and enjoyed the scenery. Headed to ECP later that night and played sparklers. And we saw quite a bit of Zakee's father that we didn't wish to see on skype! hahahaha!

From dare to believe

Film Cameras are Cool!

2009-08-26T23:55:00.002+08:00

I went to the lawyer's office today so finalise the insurance claim for my accident last year. Strange, even after so much done and over with, the legal matters seem to be dragging so long and yet people seem to pay so much attention to it. Anyhow, if thats how it has to be.

Met Ed, Hyona and Tim at Safra. We went to the dark room to print some photos that they took with film cameras. I mean it was fun and all but it seriously took such a donkey loooong time that I wanted to fall asleep! (ok not really) Learned quite a lot of Teacher Tim (aka seriously failure) HAHA. You know, the movies really fool us with the dark rooms. It isn't exactly that red in the room, it is Bloody DARK! It just has one small red bulb in the middle and you need to give you eyes time to white balance to that light. It was hilarious inside! Ed wanted to puke! Hyons was scared of the store room.

With all these happening, I did notice a friendly stranger printing his friend's wedding photos in black and white. I was actually amazed by his photography, or at least of the person who took the photos. Actually if all else fails or furtively, I do wish to be a photographer. But i guess it is too early to say.

We went to watch the freaky Orphan show at night! WOE! Such a angst show man! BOO.

From dare to believe

strength

2009-08-23T19:47:00.000+08:00

my heart never pounded this hard in a long time. i went as you led.

What a Lawyer!

2009-08-18T23:15:00.000+08:00

A local United Way office realized that the organization had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute.

"Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to the community in some way?"

The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, "First, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?"

Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbled, "Um ... no."

The lawyer interrupts, "or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair?"

The stricken United Way rep began to stammer out an apology, but was interrupted again.

"or that my sister's husband died in a traffic accident," the lawyer's voice rising in indignation, "leaving her penniless with three children?!"

The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, said simply, "I had no idea..."

On a roll, the lawyer cut him off once again, "So if I don't give any money to them, why should I give any to you?"
"

Potassium Dichromate?

2009-08-18T00:23:00.003+08:00

READ IT! KNOW IT! ACT UPON IT!

- it takes you to realise.

****

OMG! Finally I went out with Ed, Fifi, Hyona today! Today was considered my last day on school for 1.1 Semester! Hurray! I had Audio Tech final written test today - "its so easy, I'm going to fail!" Anyway, all that is left is FP for Location Production which is due this thursday and i'll be done. Like i mentioned, I went out with the Ed, Fifi, Hyona and a few more came along today, Marcus, Jannah, Carissa, Jeanette, Jessica and Val. We wen to e2max @ cine and watched the shutter. OMG! Hyona is super crazy! She kept screaming for every rhyme or reason. Something interesting was that 'Shutter' had a story line that is worth reading/viewing. Went to BK for dinner. FIFI's photo was somewhere funny! haha!

After all the 'huha' we went Job Hunting! omg! I'll be on internship during the holidays and I want to save some cash along too so I got to work. Royce sounds fun! Ed and I had high hopes and we wanted to go to Armani and Zara. I'll be flying off to Cambodia in September as part of a school trip. Am a little excited but mostly sad that Yixin is not coming, then now Ed can't come too. iAlone. I think my group is going over to the children's home. Sounds like another fun learning journey. Hope it is goooood :D (wth, I typed like a twit! dang!)

****

I think this whole set of picture is damn cool. Have fun shooting tml you ♥

Period

2009-08-13T23:49:00.000+08:00

i find you damn annoying,

and you seriously annoy me.

buzz off -.-'''

Grip On

2009-08-12T22:53:00.006+08:00

When all things that can go wrong, have gone wrong. Like how a pimple choose to pop up on the day before your first show. Like how a car splashes water on you on a rainy day when you are walking on the pavement with your tux. When despite how you tried and nothing seems to go right. Like how you fumble over your dance steps although it is your 100th time dancing. Like how you made sure everyone gets adequate practices and everyone is always late or doesn't turn up. When all you see are obstacles ahead of you that are determined to bring you down. Like you sing the wrong lyrics in your show although you memorise it for a million-time. These are the days when you got to rise from the pits give it a wash & wipe the dust off your face, know our live is with him and move on with the same determination that drives you to walk down this path.

Shelter

2009-08-12T02:31:00.005+08:00

Time after time, everyone needs a shelter. A shelter to run and hide into, a shelter to seek comfort, love and be safe. Ego would deny the fact that humans need a shelter. What amazes me is that a local survey states that 78.3% of the shelter needed for a human, is actually by or from homosapiens themselves. That certainly amuses me. How many of us are doing so? If you could comprehend what I’m saying, I’m actually not blabbering about giving others a roof over their head or bread to feed. I'm talking about beyond that.

I've tucked myself tight into to dark room, with a dimmed light coming from the corner, looking out at the open world through the windows. Sounds an awful lot like a prison, but ironically, it’s not as captive as you would assume. The solitude, the cool breeze after the evening rain, the slow traffic and a tinge of streetlights are the perfect elements for a peaceful atmosphere. Well, it is until you hear an anti climax broken tape recorder straight down the hallway. This tape recorder is an odd one; it gets louder as you try to push the stop button down, irony. Taping up its mouth is not an option, as the batteries tend to have over powering voltage. You could bite on your tongue, if the recorder at least plays a decent music over and over again, but oddly, this one plays to a horrifying tune. Talk about-facing the music. Your music just speaks of captivity. I've already apologised, but that does that promote you to a slave driver?

Sometimes in human life the urge to seek shelters becomes increasingly high - especially in teen life. But where am I now? Late teen? Early Adult? Anyhow, the matter stays the same. Everyone needs a shoulder to cry on and an embrace to hold on to. Again ego would try to deny it. Often we caption this as a phase, like many other things we go through in life, maybe its true? I can't really judge on that. We all say, "with growth comes responsibilities", actually with growth comes maturity and experiences of which your responsibilities just increase, not suddenly appear. Well like I was saying, maturity expands the mind yet at the same time draws it's line, same with experience. Sometimes maturity makes you reach, but experience cut you down to think twice. I always think, "what if I said yes?" or "what if I went on with it?" but eventually experiences are blessings in disguises by God, for us to learn.

Edmund injured himself during a film shoot.
He claims he is a wild child.
take care man, love you ♥

HELLO YOU!

2009-08-04T23:00:00.001+08:00

OMG! HOW TRUE! HAHAHAHHAHAHA!

I AM A LIL FAT FANCY COW!
ED IS A RAGING BULL!
FIFI IS DA BOMB!
HYONA IS DAMN PRETTY!
QINXIN IS MY ONLY BFF! :D
RANDI TAN IS ANOTHER WOMAN IN MY LIFE WHO KILLS FETUSES!
SARAH IS LOVES TO SAY "ONLY!"
SANJAY HAS A SPECIAL RELATIONSHIP WITH MUNSEY!
VAL IS A POKER!
RACHEL TOH IS A KAYA TOAST!
YU LUN IS A AH BENG!
NADIA IS A DUPLICATE RAMLEE BURGER!
AUBRIE IS A LITTLE GIRL!
LUKE IS A LIPIN!
LIPIN IS A LUKE!
JOEL IS A GUITAR HERO!
INEZ IS A TORTOISE!
BEN IS TEH DRAMA MAMA!

and the list goes on.... hahahah!

2009-07-29T15:12:00.003+08:00

Indeed sometimes it is. What is the point of managing you time and doing your work before hand, working through it to make it better when all your efforts fail with a border line ramification. It really does make me feel (a word i don't seem to be able to find but it describes how shitty i feel) Anyway, I'm going to continue to work on it a try to ace it in the final assignment.

I'm rather shutting myself away from issues that i don't need to pay attention upon. I don't have much free space thus can't absorb all the things that are not needed. I've tried so much to be a listener that sometimes i just need to shut my ears and zonk out. I guess it is part of growing up in poly.

Say it like you mean it

2009-07-28T23:17:00.002+08:00

OMG this is seriously funny, don't you think so? I so agree man. Movies are not real life events even though you try to make them or speak them as so. I mean can you imagine and sad moment of you life, will there actually be a violinist next to you, adding flavour to your moment? Indeed no i suppose. But it would be cool to have it though! hahaha

Everyone is rushing their assignments and projects. According to my schedule, i have at least 4 weeks more to school end and boy do i have tons of project to finish. I mean i do enjoy the whole process and all, but when they all pile up at the same time, it gets a little over loaded. hahah. Anyhow hope everything goes well. I scored 361/400 for my Writing Lab! FTW!

Things i need to complete

Radio Commercial
Radio Commercial Paper work
Study for Audio Technology Written Test
Study for Audio Technology Practical test
Location Production Paper work
Location Production/Final Project Filming & Editing
Study for Location Production Written Test
Written Communication Essay Draft 2
Written Communication Essay (Final)
Finish all my writing lab exercises!
Take Photos for Art & Design
Edit Pictures for Art & Design
Social Psychology Journal 2 on Gender
Social Psychology Assess Tutorial 2 Presentation
Study for Social Psychology Pop quiz 3

HAHAHAHA MY LIFE ROCKS!

I miss Eddy worhs <3

just sweet nothings

2009-07-27T23:25:00.002+08:00

I'm going crazy over my projects and assignments. Its 2 more weeks to end of school and I have 2 written test and about 4 projects and 2 assignments due! Its psychotic I must say! But interestingly I have been functioning well indeed with all the stress piling up. Maybe i work better in stress.

Isn't it cool to have the treasure at the end of the rainbow, which might be able to solve the haywire madness?! haha! INDEEED!

Run

2009-07-14T23:52:00.003+08:00

I really wish to run to the ends of the sea to cry and shout my heart out. As loud as my lungs can support me. As much as my heart desires. As long has this pain takes to heal. Till the period i realise what reality has for me, I'm fastened very much indeed.

When the heart speaks

2009-07-13T22:35:00.004+08:00

I know the anecdote, and i understand the ramifications of such. What i have to decipher here is the lessons learnt from the past. Sometimes experience is a better teacher - subjective, yet objective. Probably the rationale is simply me. I often embrace the euphoria that i experience and have, to a point, where i care less about myself. Its a prevalent truth that everyone will entwine oneself around the euphoria that lies within the circumference. The urge to take a step back and remain the norm is there, but will it make a difference? Every so often, this question is never answered.

It is anomalous how with all these eventuality, i feel affluent in the fashion of the direction. Sounds weird i must say, but i can't profess enough how by the slightest mediums my load is lightened by your apparition. But i am conscious this can only travel to a brick wall.

It would aid if we have a aspiration in sentience. I mean, unbolt those eye and see the verity, without the aspiration we habitually end up desiccated. Aspirations not only helps gives us a hope, it travels you forward and you realise that you are heading a certain somewhere with a purpose and the important fact is that you understand the purpose and what it is called for.

Jia you for your radio! ♥

When you go Home

2009-07-10T22:57:00.004+08:00

When you go home, to a place where the papers call home, you walk in with much weight. Each wall speaks of a memory, one that has seen much tears. You try to hold on, to the strong pillars but you realise, with the less significance they hold in you, the grip falls off. You search for your hiding place, pull out that box underneath your bed and forage for that picturesque hope. But that hope fades away when you hear a calamitous voice. You run away, in the aim to deter everything else away from you.

When you go home, to a place where you call home by heart, you keep stumbling upon bodies but there is no one around. A silence that can kill is all that you experience. But you press on, holding on to faith, yet all that is of your eye sight, is the view of theirs - grotesque. You take a step back and sit on the floors that had captured many words. You lean down to hear if they would speak anything, but all you hear is much silence indeed. How can a home hold such value, when all that you see are uncharted eyes. You feel edge of the acute silence, and you walk away leaving the vital stain.

When you go home, to a place where you only have one tenant, you assume that this is one home, you will never run off from. Then those voices pound in like soldiers with a mission. But one that can break a soul. You bring up you guards but they are of no measure.

With all the commotion from home to home, you wonder what that tenant of yours would say, but all you see, is an epitome of still water. You walk closer to take a second look and realise your eyes aren't playing a trick on you. The tenant looks at you as you look at him. You look into him eyes and you experience a moment of reminiscence. All of a sudden, you feel the touch of a warm embrace. You shiver, yet you talk a step closer. As the sensation increases, you faith increase and you move forward. With every little step, you hearts speaks to you - home is right in front of you.

UNGLAM YO

2009-07-09T23:30:00.000+08:00

Here are some UNGLAM photos of some of my friends for your enjoyment, hence, ENJOY! :D

Mengli Fifi Quek @ Handayani! "Need me to clean your feet?"

Sng Yixin! "Thunder Thighs"

Hyona! "Potential Maid"

Qinxin! "Hi, i like you friend! hehe"

Loga! "Damn unglam"

Chong Yulun! "wanna kiss me?"

Valerie Chia! "I whine all the time!"

Rachel Toh! "I'm emo hobo!"

Adin Kinderman! "Twilight Boy!"

Edmund Zach Ong! "The nicest photo of all!"

HAHAHAHAHA!!

LOL

2009-07-08T23:50:00.000+08:00

NVP 2 = BLEAKNESS!

i found this photo and thought i should post it up!

awww :D

iSick

2009-07-01T16:11:00.004+08:00

I look like a emo hobo, but apparently I'm just not in full shape. I fell sick again and thus i have to rest.

I seem to take deep sighs more often then the norm. But having said so, i can't identify the purpose of doing so. If another hand if what you desire, many would just reach out, but what 'that many' fail to comprehend is fact that its not just another hand. What is your fundamental value? What do you as a person stand for? Coming from a point that values mean much, how much of these values comply to our normal circumstance? Its all back to square 1: Fundamental Attribution Error. (aiyo! Social Psychology again.)

* I just realised that edmund didn't go school too. How fated.

when you embrace the tide with a sweet smile

2009-06-28T23:55:00.005+08:00

I indeed had a great weekend spending it with my loved ones. I have been very much tied up with my school work that i have indeed neglected some ares in my life. Great to have them back. Before i carry on let me say this once and for all. I am going to dare to put the above picture up and for who so ever reads my blog and would like to be tattle about this, it speaks very little of you and you're just going to make me laugh at you more for being absolutely stupid.

I am truly happy to have met my cousin and my niece this week and the fact that i went to Sentosa 2 days in a row is one amazing factor! But i had a ball of a time. I especially had great time on Sunday at the beach Cafe. It was the perfect place for me to be. Windy, open aired, nice ambiance, a cup of tea and a hot Cannon DSLR along with good company. Do check out my facebook for the actual pictures.

All in all, a good time spent before school begins again for another term. 7 more weeks and i will be semester 2. Time sure does seem to fly by. Much indeed, i do look forward to the second part of the year as i have Photography as on of my modules! Looking forward to it man! Anyway, i start school tomorrow at 8am and i can't wait for volleyball tomorrow! *BALLS ON SERVICE YO!*

my princess with her uncle!

I love edmund zachary ong to the max!

Whats your Match Point?

2009-06-26T17:32:00.000+08:00

NVP2 Shooting/Filming
~//~

Sometimes you keep coming back to the same assumptions - this just ain't your game. In this case, mine.

NPDS@NgeeAnnCity

2009-06-25T21:55:00.000+08:00

Awesome Performance Yo!
NP ftw!

NPDS!

The Jive Girls

NPDS

Candid

Random

Teacher Melvin

Teacher Melvin

Abel

Did you know he doesn't have a Facebook?! Ikr!

Crazy Alex

Alvin

Short Andy

Cheryl & Chze Siang

Ex Canoe Polo Man

Drama Mama Darren

Edna yo

Funky Jolin

Kah Hao broke the Daisy!

LARRIS!

Melissa Huels

Pamela

PC!

Sherlyn

Ting Wei

Junjie & Geraldine

Hello :D

Yee Ting

Yijia

:D

yo!

Catching Up

2009-06-24T13:15:00.000+08:00

2 camps in row, now thats what your call schedule overload! I'm rather tired, smelly and *pauses as i don't know what else to say!* The chalet was a blast. All the laughter and smiles that hold a thousand memories! It is a pity that they'll be stepping down and another batch of interns will take over. Am sure going to miss this wacky batch. Guess its a cycle in life you'll always face.

Am going to school soon to meet Redzuan, Heather, Yee Ting & maybe Christina for CATS! BOO! But i love cats actually. probably my whole group does. According to my lecturer, I'm on my way to an 'AD' (Distinction) even though it is rather tough this semester. My group should be getting it too! I have to say i have the Best CATS lecturer ever! I would have gotten a B for my assignment, however she texted me to hand in my assigment another day and she gave me an A for it! BEELAN ROCKS!

Would Probably be going down to support the NPDS people @ Ngee Ann City as their performing.

Bleak.

Radio Heatwave Chalet!

2009-06-23T23:30:00.001+08:00

Play that funky music Deejay!

The BESTEST & AWESOMEST Radio Heatwave Crew! :D

Radio Heatwave Deejays!

Hilme & I starting the fire

Mario and the troop

Paul Twohill looks overly Happy!

Paul was telling me a joke?!

Thats Power 98's Mario and Jason Chow!

My Co Host!- The Bestest!

Minah to the Max!

Part Timers

:D

Wassup?!

Roar!

Peace Out!

Shaun! HAHA!

:D

Germaine and SinYi!

Which is my Chilli sauce ah?

Cedric gave me a back ache! :(

Ben act cute

waddup yo!

Crazy Paul!

Look how many Human Beings it took to get Cedric up! DANG!

Waiting for Laser Quest! (Which i missed!)

Speeeeed.

2009-06-22T07:30:00.001+08:00

Am entirely crashed and tired after DS camp. I actually have cuts and bumps amazingly. How contradictory to the fact of having bruises due to DS camp! Leaving those set backs aside, it was a really fun. I had a great time and camp. I loved the Rock and Roll! Anyway I'm off to another camp/chalet today! I have less then half a day to rest from yesterday's camp break to today's camp start! BOOO!

I'm off the Radio Heatwave CHALET yo!

Ngee Ann Dance Sport Camp 2009!

2009-06-21T23:50:00.001+08:00

It ain't Life till you Dance
Peektures yo!

Day 1

Road Runners!

Cha Cha

In the process of learning Rock & Roll

Waddup?!

:D

errrrr?!

Dirty Games!

Close Up: Gross! = Eggs+CornFlour+GlitterWater+Paint+Butter+Lunch!

Random

Nice :D

Day 2

Group Pic

plus exco

roar!

Performance Night

Shake it!

They dragged me out while i was sleeping! -.-

Day 3 @ Sentosa

All thats left!:(

Treasure Hunt

Found Gold?

Splash!

Check out her Shades!

War!

Desmond and I had our moment! HAHA!

And Again!

Tag team

Exhausted!

Reigning Champions!

Then they came!

Damn Tired!

Go home and Crash!

Why do you like Sugar?

2009-06-19T06:15:00.001+08:00

I'm off to NPDS camp!

DEEJAY

2009-06-16T14:00:00.000+08:00

RADIO HEATWAVE COUNTY

zip

2009-06-02T00:05:00.000+08:00

I wanted to say much indeed, but less is what i'll do.

We Rock Your Socks!

2009-05-27T18:22:00.004+08:00

SocPsy group Gone Wild!

I Love You! ♥

POP ART ♥

I'm an Indian Justin Timberlake today according to Randi the Shark! I rushed to school in the morning as I woke up at 8.30am when actually my class was at 9am! Yixin and Val came over while I was changing, then we headed to school, leaving Loga home alone! Location Production is going deranged! I'm learning the fact not to trust your camera. The camera showed me the right aperture; hence I compensated the f stop to my level best. Fighting along with the colour temperature of the shoot day, most of the filming came up under exposed! OMG! I'M FRIGGIN SCARED! I have one week to edit my NVP1. Hope it all goes exceptionally well.

Once again, today, I came about the feel of wanting the something missing. I don't seem to understand why I need it, but it feels as though it will help me if I do. It is not just about having one, but really treasuring and understanding the meaning behind having one. If you really fit the puzzle, then why don't I seem to comprehend why you do? I'm just an abnormal man.

I WANT TO GO VENICE! kthxbye

Monolingual

2009-05-26T21:31:00.005+08:00

Love the Tongue ♥

Yixin's Bangs!

I'm really becoming a HOBO! I am currently at the Loft again doing my project/assignment with Loga. However it is fun as I get to have fun while I work hard. Sadly my teammates aren't able to join me, due to some meanie celery man! But we managed to stay late and finish up most of the work. Go Team!

Life has once again taught me the lesson of how it plays the tale of masquerade in the oblivious medium. You never know what it offers or brings forth. When it takes something significant away from you, the pain is indeed hard to handle. That split second, every memory flashed pass in the film roll in your mind. When you know, that last touch would never be real yet you continuously hold on, thinking you could feel the warmth. The passing on of someone is hard. But remember we are here for you dear friend. You'll pull through.

Dionel awaits the holidays, to meet his dear friend, Miss Sleep.

I'm a Goofy two Soup!

2009-05-25T21:28:00.007+08:00

Hello Stranger! I've been called an extremely otherworldly guy! I have been pretty overwhelmed with my projects and assignments, however I have been having a ball of a time. It sounds abnormal but evidently it is much true indeed. I relish in the work that I do. Indeed filming, editing, presentations, essays and so on are tiring, taxing, time consuming and effort/energy drainers, but rivetingly, I have been enjoying myself much indeed. It is always helpful when you can face that toughest roads with a smile. The above is a picture of us going crazy in the loft before FIFI's birthday! What a wacky day.

I have exams tomorrow on Modern Language Association's Citation! BOO! I have to finish up Social Psychology editing, NVP1 paper work, NVP1 Post Production editing, Photoshop Project Story Boarding, and I can't think anymore. Yay sooo fun! :)

If time takes toll, being able to give a soluble answer, i wonder if it can answer my questions.

I skyped with VAL CHIA

Split Second

2009-05-25T13:27:00.002+08:00

Here goes. Its not about being oblivious to you or any sort of that. But its actually simple. You're trying so hard to be glace in the ground where it is not welcomed (mine), while at the ground where it most belongs to, you tend to be oblivious yourself. I find it really obnoxious when i see that from you. You're a nice person, don't let this grow. It speaks very little of you. End.

Nostalgia

2009-05-24T23:25:00.003+08:00

Adin and I were a little drawn off during a filming today hence we started Photo Boothing! What an action packed Sunday is has been. Today I met Loga & Adin, along with the Media Corp Crew(?) for filming. Yixin came in the evening part. It was really tiring for Loga especially, but just intense in a weird way for me. I had fun for sure and the whole experience was great. But, I’ve been very much active in the film side now, it seems to be resulting in the fact that I happen to miss the theatre scene. I have to admit that I have been away from it for some time. Miss those Days.

Amongst all the work today, I was actually having my own siesta as well - and no i wasn't sleeping. I was actually observing the atmosphere in an filming zone for once. It is a different arena from theatre - from the actors, to the directors and the crew. I began to analyse the actor's personality, his/her understanding and perceptions, and of course, their responses. Not only the actors actually, the whole team would be right to say. It was really intriguing.

MOVING ON.
You know, I barely get myself connected and directed to anything or anyone in the rush of time or immediately, however when I do, it becomes an important substance in a way for me. I just can't get my mind on what it really is now. I don't want a pity talk, but a sincere understanding. It seems tough as I don't know why either it holds much value. I don't want to be engrossed to a level that failure would be a continual melody. But I await the rhyme of time - maybe this holds something divergent.

Verbal Diarrhoea

2009-05-22T23:40:00.000+08:00

It has certainly been an exhausting few weeks of projects, assignments, lack of sleep and sexy eye bags. I'm sure NP's FMS students will agree with me, no matter what course you are from. I finally managed to finish my Narrative Video Production 1 today! Let me remind you that I had no school today, yet I had to go to school to do filming. But indeed it was God's grace that, amongst so much tension, stress, sweat, technical difficulties and time management problems, we mange to finish shooting. Now comes the editing and paper work. I love my Cast & Crew to the max! I still need to revise my work as the tests are heading. Moreover, I still love poly life.

Sometimes, stress really gets the better of me, no matter how much I try to deny it. Counting the fact that it's still year 1 and I'm only in week 5, but the workload it very much intense. I guess every now and then, crying it out helps. (So emo) But indeed, with all these haywire happenings, close friendship really keeps people going on - it sure has helped me. I really miss the freedom and time that I had. I had so much time that I'll start thinking about thinks beyond the norm. Haven't been able to do the things my heart intends to. I miss you Old Man! (Please don't throw a brick down at me!)

Today was my first radio show with Shona on Radio Heatwave. WOAH. It was indeed a fun one! I really had a good time, although it was nerve wrecking as I was pressing the wrong buttons. But we just throw the cues to each other and had fun. We ended up speaking about so many odd things, such as American Idol, some French Guy, Angelina and Brad, and some other stuff. We're planning to do something new next week, hence don't forget to catch us on every Fridays, 3.45pm - 5pm on RadioHeatwave.com.

I've got an early day tomorrow. I should rest soon.

Somethings Missing

2009-05-07T14:50:00.000+08:00

In life, are you either a winner or a loser? Its based on your opinion, actually. But with all this these achievement, how much are you satisfied? We all have the desire to ace and eventually be able to take the next step. But have you ever felt there was something missing? In you? By your side? Around you? Behind you? Or whatsoever. Recently, this has been lingering around me.

I often ask my self, “What am i going to do now?” or “What am i going to do next?” But always never seem to be able to end up to a conclusion. Sometimes i wonder if I’m just thinking way off the perimeters. I’ve always had this question/feeling sparking in me but have yet to pay much attention to it till recently.

It often takes 2 to clap, but it doesn’t really take 2 to function. But it does help to boost the functioning process, don’t you agree? I’m really cropping my words down to be socially correct but i don’t seem to understand myself either. Its so interesting now, at different scenarios, you feel differently, although you uphold the same fundamental value.

But i realise, if something is missing, and i keep going on with the questions, then my “Whats next” would never end. Untill i find that value in someone/something, i will always end up with this question. Today, we can have that valued person/object. But we tend to be oblivious to it. So before the “What’s Next?” comes about; have you found your Valued Person/Object?

(HAHA! I know! I just changed from my real meaning to something spiritual! LOL!)

Security

2009-05-05T14:30:00.000+08:00

Don’t we all wish to feel secured in our own circle? Its a typical venture of humans as they tend to seek for secured zones where they feel comfortable. When in that zone, they often become stagnant to resistant to movement/change. Growth comes when we step out of our comfort zone, hence how much growth can be attained when we are so cemented to out lullaby? We often wish to hold a sense of security, let it be for face value/to feel belonged/or for whatsoever reason. But, you’ll always be stagnant, when you never take the step out in faith. Its never easy to step out, but do it in that little faith you hold in something significant to you. Comfort Zones are mans hiding grounds, but rarely do they realise that these hiding grounds become hinderance to their growth. The real question is, “are you willing to step out?”

I'm on my way

2009-04-17T12:10:00.000+08:00

What an adrenaline pumping arena it has been. Being clogged up for 11 years in a cradle, all prepped up well and safe, and for a sudden breakage of wind, (not fart la!) you find yourself in the midst of all, who have been in no difference. But what sparks out the amusement is that the common grounding though having been prepped up in different cradles. Unity in Diversity? We all wake up to a new dawn and realise where life has taken us to. Some embrace the new breath and breathe it in, some progress forward with a new step, but some stumble on the pavement.

We all will come to a point, where we breathe upon a new breath. Is that like a potion, where you get hypnotised after consumption? Not quite, – we’ll leave that for fairytale – its more of an atonement. We all learn how much our mind can consume, and each day that consumption grows, but of course, you play a part in what you input for consumption. But never let your understanding stop. Let it grow, yes set boundaries, but never constraint it. If you make a mistake, don’t make the assumption that is was wrong all the while. Stop the weeds from growing, and continue looking at the sun.

Have the will of a Lion Cub. Stand up for what you witness. Lion cubs are interesting spices. Discarding the fact that they are minute in size matters compared to their alpha Lions, they still go all the way for what they witness within or stand for. That is a real strong spirit. These guys fall often, and many times literally, but rarely do you see one stop its play just for a set back. They leap forward and run.

Your heart is your treasure here. Growth (in the right way) is the key that will open your heart. And when you are able to understand things of your heart and bear witness towards it, many treasure come unveiling before your eyes. There can me many things in your heart, – Desires, Lusts, Love or Someone with great Value. There is someone in my heart, and he keeps me going. An I’m on my way, to where he wants me to go.

Crap

2009-03-25T13:20:00.000+08:00

Seriously, we all come to point where we just had quite enough of all the insignificant things which end up grobbing you off your efficiency. Yes, i’m not someone who will stand up and speak up, i’ll wait and try to cease fire. I guess I’m over that period. It only helps to go by such tide if only i have the weight taken off from the tidal ones that head forth. Sometimes i wonder, why would he allow such things in my life.

Majority would say, it’s a lesson for one to learn. How much learn can be comprehended in a scenario where all you attain back is huge pile of cross hands. I try to be oblivious and focus on contemplating that it is all trivial issues. But how trivial can issues be when they just never end unless you take the fault? Now, i have no problem with the fault if it ceases fire, but if it seems to add more fuel to it when i take it, then whats the difference?

People often say that Youths always know how to complain and yack, but never once realise how to rectify the effective issue which is effecting the situation. I agree to the fact that complaining gets to no where, thus it’s not my main focus. I only reason why i speak out, is for my point to get heard and for the other to understand what i say. But apparently, i’m the trivial issue that happens to be too trivial to be heard. It’s often strange when you are intergated for being silent and yet ignored when spoken.

The very reason why i doubt when i make a move. It does not bring me down, however it questions me how long am i going to hold on. Someday i’ll break again, and at that point what difference do i make? Its what i call “TMTH”.

Solitude

2009-03-22T14:18:00.000+08:00

What an exasperating week it has been. Ranging from datelines, to work load and to personal performance. Your mind randles at many points, questioning why don’t you move? For obvious reasons, my work happens to be a passion and joy. But with all honesty, all passion will face the brick at times. But its the will power that keeps you going. Passion derives down to 2 fundamental values – Energy and Sacrifice. If you are willing to put in the sufficient or more effort and hard work along with making the sacrifice to be able to view the product, the main/big picture, that will eventually be a well off passion.

But putting off the passion issue, everyone craves a good serenity moment. That calm, peaceful embrace of the mind, soul and spirit. Today was a great blessing for me indeed. Nothing very of great fancy, just a simple warm gathering, of which if you know me well, is the best gift you can ever give me! – a good heartwarming and loving day with loved ones! Simply being able to release the tention and be free. Some people would call it, leasing the inner Lion! I’d probably have a puppy in me. Just lazing around, trying to be stupid!

Sometimes i wish that such solitude could be enjoyable. But what beats the fact of having been surrounded by beings that hold much value. I’m starting to understand why sometimes people draw themselves away or fray from the usual or norm. But a minority just need time to be taught. But sometimes i really wish i was in a solitude environment. Have you ever recieved anything with much value and special, that you take care of it with all you heart? But why don’t that seem to be an undertandable statement when the reaction is brought forth? I’m trying to be oblivious to the some facts but i’m held as hostage for being of such.

Sometimes we all yearn for the peace of Mind. But sadly, we often, at least me, keep searching everywhere, when it’s just in one place, one person. Shalom.

(Sounds like a corny post!)

What satisfies your Heart?

2009-03-21T05:00:00.000+08:00

We often get into the caption of search, searching for the big ‘Next’. But when will there be a full stop? When will your heart be satisfied? Will your heart be satisfied when you complete those dragging datelines that never seem to have a finishing line? Well, with much honesty, I did manage to find the finishing line today. A long hard task, drilling me deep in, to complete my projects with a satisfaction. My Chij crew girls ought to be praised, possibly in the alley of pulling it off. Truly and indeed they learned that with hard work and effort creates a rewarding product. Now, understanding the atmosphere, is this what you call satisfactory?

In contrary to psychological set backs, is your heart satisfied to see a lost student found? Hardly could you comprehend a human mind to perfect comprehension due to its vast complexity. If you find a student, who is an introvert, is that named as abnormal? When a student of mine went missing and didn’t return to class after lunch today, questioned me. For a person, who held such low value amongst her peers, brought tears to the eyes of her surrounding when she returned. Does the ability to see something lost, appear back at sight, bring forth satisfactory to the heart?

The mobile phone is a ‘can’t do without’ material in the current world. People assume that it is probably due to its modern affairs and technology. But have we realised that somehow it connects to someone emotionally? For teenagers, it’s a common translation of ‘being cool’. For adults, it’s pretty much a communication device. But for a void soul, that one return of a ’sms’ or a call, happens to be an extacy for them. Not necessarily for mood purposes, but something that fills the void in them. Let it be from a Husband to his Wife “Honey, i missed you soo much today!”, let it be from a Parent to a child “Son! Well Done! I’m soo proud of you!”, or simply let it be from a friend to another “Don’t worry, I’m by your side!”, it holds much value. With such value, does it fill the void in your heart and make you satisfied?

Many in the career world these days, perform their duties so the greens end up the pocket at month end. Rarely these days, you find those who run the race for passion. Some do, for probably a mile and side track due to obstacles. Money has become one of the greatest valued item on earth. You often hear a minority claiming, “You can’t survive on this earth without Money!” A harsh statement, but boldly displayed. Has money overtaken love? or did love never entered the race at all? We tend to see droopy faces in this recession period, but when a bonus arrives, you see a beam of joy. Does money really satisfy your heart?

What satisfies your heart? Ask yourself. Does that satisfactory hold a Value?

Source

2009-03-20T01:00:00.000+08:00

We open our eyes to see who we actually are. When reality takes toll, where do you stand? Its easy to go either way. How? For instance, you could head on with the current, which happens to be obnoxious or you could side track to the picturesque, where you could flow with the common and be safe. Rarely you find ones that stick to what the inner witness stands for – for better words, conscience or heart. Then again double checking the source and agenda of the inner witness.

Life is a vast plot of land to learn and discover, thus no one can run from it’s sight, not that far at least. Sometimes if we aren’t careful in this learning journey, we ought to side track to an unwanted path where we often worry, fear and fall. Sometimes it seems to hold much truth, but soon it fades off as it holds no value or power. Such things have great manipulation medium to blind you from the core truth. What do you do then? Always focus your vision to the one source that has been truth to you, your whole life. A source that your heart knows right, where your conscience doesn’t probe time after time and where your inner witness is at peace.

What happens if you pick up something from that source but yet it contradicts the truth? Always check back to the source. A source that is of solid truth and power, will never falter in it’s ways and holds a rock solid value or promise. I’ve realised that, if what we perceive destroys the joy within, then that source it ought to be attested. “… and Your joy no one will steal” a true promise made to mankind from a solid true source. Something that comes out of it, does not contradict, does not falter or oppress you but will be of a great revelation. Hence, i have failed to understand the ground of my source.

As for me, I’m in a period of learning and it will be probably a long period as learning is never going to stop. I have to be open and let go of my understanding and learn what is the real truth. Its hard as sometimes this is what we are, but ultimately we do things for the true source. My source happens to be my Heavenly Father, who is Love, Mercy and Consuming Fire. One with the other and not lacking either.